Considerations When You Separate

ARTICLES

Reducing Legal Fees
• Considerations For Separation
Expectations and Goals
Alternate Dispute Resolution

Family Law Advocates | Mermaid Painting
How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.
– Wayne Dyer

Looking after your children’s best interests

• If you have children, think about how they will be affected by separation. Research shows that children benefit from a supportive, age-appropriate explanation of the changes that they will experience because of the separation. (Mom and Dad will never stop loving you. The separation is not your fault. Mom and Dad will each have a house. You are going to spend lots of time with each of us. You won’t have to change schools.) It is damaging for children to hear one parent (or friends and family members) criticize the other. Difficult as the process is for adults, it can have an even greater impact on children. Consider taking part in the Parenting After Separation program, or checking at your library or bookstore for age appropriate reading material.

• Television, films and advertising can promote the idea that an aggressive approach is necessary to protect peoples’ interests. Sometimes that may be warranted, but for most families, an informed, open discussion will lead to resolution sooner and at a lower cost. Most importantly, such a process does not inflame conflict among family members.

• Fictional representations of the legal system can give the impression that there is no need to settle unless the settlement is perfect, as a better result will be obtained in court. The legal system is a dispute resolution system, and judges will make a decision if the parties cannot. It is not common for one party to receive everything on his or her “wish list.” When that happens, the other side often appeals.

• Information is a valuable tool. Gather copies of documents such as tax returns, bank account and credit card records, loan or credit applications, documents about real estate and other assets, documents relating to a family business or trust.

• Consider the effect of any joint debt or credit accounts. Could your partner borrow money that you might have to repay? You may want to contact your bank.

• Make sure you have important personal documents such as your passport.

• Is there a safety deposit box? Consider visiting the safety deposit box with a neutral third party and photographing the contents.

• Do not sign agreements or make any significant changes to your financial picture without legal advice.

• Do not write angry letters or emails that may later be attached to your partner’s affidavit. Keep the emotional tone as calm as possible.

© Brenda McCourt, Mediator/Barrister & Solicitor